falling down into an abyss that i can't see. i don't know if i'm doing what is right or what is wrong. at the same point in time i don't think that i really care anymore. being lost has just left me that way. i don't know if i will ever be good enough for anyone as a friend, companion, or in any way, shape, or form. i just don't know what to think of myself except i can't do anything right and i'm just a failure at loving anything or anyone no matter how much of my soul and heart i invest into it. i want all of this to be in my head but i just feel so far damaged sometimes that i don't know if anyone can put the pieces back together or if anyone even wants to. i think that all of this is just depression talking most likely but i still keep spewing it out. i probably shouldn't even be saying this cuz it will probably result in it being my fault that anyone who reads it will be depressed and it is already killing me inside. i don't mean that all of this is how i always feel and it is likely just depression as i said but i am putting it all down all the same. please no one take any of this to heart. i don't want to make anyone feel sad because of me. love and hugs...machan.